we remember
by baeberry
Summary: Ten years ago was horrible we lost fathers and husbands but we didn't give up, we let our life go on, but never forgot. We moved on but we remembered.


**So I just felt like I needed to write this.**

**there's really not much to say about it**

**so yea**

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><p><strong>September 11 2001<strong> changed Carly's, mine and Freddie's life just like so many others forever.

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><p>Colonel Shay had everything he could have wanted and according to him needed, a beautiful wife who loved him insanely, a crazy son who knew he didn't want to follow in his father's footsteps but still make him proud and then he had a little girl that was his world, and he would do anything for her. After Mrs. Shay died when Carly was only four he tried so hard to get pass his grief to be there for Carly, he moved closer to Spencer in Seattle, he worked less and spent more time with his children. But when those planes flew into those towers, it just completely tore his world apart. He had to do something, so he gave guardianship of eight year old Carly to twenty-one year old Spencer and then he was on the first plane to meet up with his troops and then he was shipped off to war. Carly still cries at night, even though he's still alive and she gets him I sometimes feel like he died that day also. He's been gone for a good nine years straight missing birthdays, proms, boyfriends, graduations, Spencer growing up and becoming responsible, Carly growing up to be who she is today, he's missed it all. He calls when he can but it's not enough. Carly and Spencer both try to be happy and go on with life, but it kills them when their father passes up another chance of coming home. Carly still wears his wedding ring around her neck, she'll never take it off.<p>

Freddie Benson Sr. was a rockstar in the eyes of Freddie, he could do no wrong, he was and still is his hero. Marissa and Freddie met when they were sixteen after Freddie's father moved his family from New York City to Seattle; they fell in love and got married right after high school, soon after they found out that Marissa was pregnant. Five years later, even though they both loved each other they wanted separate things, so they got divorced Freddie Sr. went to New York and joined the NYFD where he knew he wanted to be, Marissa stayed in Seattle to raise Freddie and worked as a nurse. They were still close, they talked all the time, and Marissa would take Freddie up to New York to see his dad when she could, they were very much in love, but they just didn't work. Being so close to the twin towers it only makes since that ladder 143's team would be one of the first teams to respond. Being Captain, Freddie Benson was automatically the first one in and should have been the last one out that day, but it never happened. Freddie Benson loved his city and country and he wouldn't let anyone destroy them. So when the towers collapsed he knew there was a possibility that he wasn't going to come home again, not with all the damage. He knew the risk but took the chance anyways. He wrote a quick letter to his eight year old son and put it in his locker just in case. To this day Freddie reads that letter every **9/11**, he even sleeps with it still in the envelope underneath his pillow.

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><p>Amos Puckett father to twin girls Melanie and Samantha and husband to Pam Puckett, he loved my sister, mom and me. He never let me be scared and always told me that he would let me know when it was time to panic. No matter what was going on he always took me and Mel to school and then picked us up. I knew that he wouldn't be there to wake me up on that Monday morning but he was supposed to be there to pick us up after school on Tuesday. He was a photographer and writer for some big magazine. I thought he was the bravest man in the world, before he worked for the magazine he was in the military; he fought and also took pictures for the army, he saved lives, I always thought he was going to be able to enjoy his. He was in Boston working on the piece and then he was supposed to go to L.A. and then come home to us. He was on American Airlines flight 11 going from Boston to L.A. I like to think that he died instantly. I still play the phone message he left before the plane hit the north tower. He was my best friend; he never let me down, but always told me the truth. He was the love of my mom's life, I know she tried hard for us after he died but he was her everything.<p>

I still remember where I was that fateful morning. School had just started but mom decided that it would be ok for me and Mel to stay with Mel on Monday night even if it was a school night. So before mom went to work that night she brought me and Mel over to Bushwell and up to Colonel Shay's and Carly's fourth floor apartment. With kisses goodbye and a chat to Colonel Shay she was off to the bar where she was bartender. The three of us went to bed after too much pizza and chocolate milk and way too many Disney movies.

Even at the age of eight I already thought waking up at ungodly early hours should have been forbidden. I was up and dressed by six forty-five. I walked downstairs following Mel with Carly behind me, when we got to the kitchen Spencer was down from his own apartment sitting at the table while his dad was making breakfast. Carly kissed her dad and Spencer good morning as Freddie and his mom walked through the door. Back then I think I liked him a little more then I should of. By the time seven rolled around there was frantic pounding at the front door. Spencer dropped what he was doing and answered the door only to find the tear stained face of my mother.

"Pam what's going on?" Colonel Shay walked behind the counter and towards my mom.

"Have you not turned the news on yet?"

"No. Why?"

"Turn it on now." Spencer fumbled with the remote before he got the tv on to the news.

I walked over to the couch where Freddie was sitting and sat next to him. I looked from my mom, Mrs. Benson, Spencer and Colonel Shay who already seemed to know what was going on to the tv. There were horrible pictures of planes flying into buildings and a field and then another building and then they showed people jumping out of the buildings that were on fire and were collapsing around them. I was so confused.

"Mommy what's going on?" My mother looked at us with tears in her eyes as she started to cry harder. Colonel Shay told Spencer to take us kids to the kitchen and come back. When he left all we could hear were hushed tones and more crying.

"What do you think is going on?" Mel asked already crying, she was never good with things like this.

"I don't know but it can't be good." I took her hand in mine before walking towards the counter so I could hear better. The news was still on but I could hear everything that my mom was saying.

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><p><em>"<strong>Maybe he didn't make his flight."<strong>_

_"**No he called me from the plane just before it took off." **More tears flowed as Mrs. Benson took my mom into her arms._

_"**He called just as the plane was crashing"**_

_"**No"**_

_"**Yea, he told me to tell the girls that he loved them and that he will always love me. I didn't have enough time to say it back."**_

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><p>I grabbed Mel's hand and dragged her to where my mom was standing; I needed to know what was going on.<p>

"Mommy?"

"Oh my babies, my sweet sweet girls" She picked us up and carried us to the couch while Carly was taken by Spencer and Mrs. Benson took a hold of Freddie's hand. Colonel Shay turned off the tv and handed my mom a box of tissues.

"I'm going to tell you something that will make you angry and sad and it you will be hurt for a really long time ok but we will get through this."

"What happened?"

"The plane that your daddy was on well some very bad men that don't like are country because of we believe, they took over the plane and my sweets they did bad things, do you remember when we went to New York and we went to the two very tall buildings?" We were only like five but I think that's the first memory of my family. We both nodded our heads yes, waiting for her to continue.

"Well the bad men crashed your dad's flight into those building."

"What does that mean?"

"Babies your daddy is never coming home."

She was right I was angry and hurt for a really long time, I still am. He promised that he would come back. Even now ten years later to the day I still cry and get angry.

We didn't find out until three days later that Freddie's dad was one of the first responders killed, one month later Colonel Shay made the decision to go to D.C. and have Carly move in with Spencer.

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><p>Ten years have gone by, the man who was the cause of this has been taken down, but the war is still going on, hundreds of thousands of men and women have been killed in the last eight years and so many more are still there including my boyfriend Freddie Benson. After Freddie turned eighteen in February he joined the military and then after graduation he went to basic and then he was deployed. Carly and I go to Cal Arts, her for graphic arts and me for photography. But Colonel Shay came home for the tenth anniversary, so we came back to Seattle to see our families.<p>

This morning Spencer, Carly, Colonel Shay, Mrs. Benson and I are all going to church and then a city wide memorial service. Which is the reason I'm up at eight o'clock in the morning, (before Carly) looking in her closet for a dress to wear. Because according to Mrs. Benson young ladies wear dress and heels to church not jeans and sneakers. I really want to punch her but I have to remember that I'm doing this for Freddie.

"You're up early."

"Ahh! Jesus Shay" I jump dropping the black dress I'm holding and turn towards my heart attack inducing best friend.

"You are the third person who told me that."

"Well it's not normal."

"Oh shut up"

"Why are you up? Church doesn't start until ten thirty"

"I know, I've been told by your dad and Spencer. Mrs. Benson asked me to look nice and so I am."

"Ahhh you care about Mrs. Benson…" I hate when she gets all Carly on me.

"No I don't…" She gives me that look, the 'I know you better than you think' one.

"Ok so I do, a little. But Freddie asked me to do this so I am."

"You so love him."

"I do really, now help me…."

An hour and a half later after like a billion dresses I finally picked a light blue long sleeve dress that isn't too bad, it's not too long or too short but appropriate enough for today and Carly decided on a knee length lilac dress. Now we're fighting, well I'm fighting Carly's ignoring, on what to do with my hair.

"Carly my hair is fine; it doesn't need to be curled."

"Yes it does, Sam you need to look good."

"It's fine I don't think god cares what my hair looks like, just as long as I'm there and listing." I unplug the iron and quickly braid my hair to side.

"Sam! You won't let me do your hair and you won't wear the shoes I gave you, I just want you to look good, because you know what God does care." She's so annoying.

"If I wear the damn shoes will you shut up?" I yank the shoes of the bed, while she's putting on her black ones. Why does it matter so much on how I look?

"Yes."

"Fine."

"Thankyou." I slip on the nude colored pumps and walk down the stairs where everyone is waiting. Spencer is in an actual fitting suit, while Colonel Shay is in his dress greens and Mrs. Benson is in a yellow dress.

"Samantha you look nice."

"Thank you, you do to." I smile graciously and give her a warm hug.

"So is everyone ready to go." We all nod are head yes to Mrs. Benson's question grab our coats and then walk out the door.

Two hours later after a very emotional sermon and memorial service, we were walking back to our cars.

"Hey Sam?"

"Yea" I look at Carly who's looking at something over my shoulder but not saying anything.

"Carly!"

"Yea what?"

"Did you need something?"

"Oh… yea um… uh… I just wanted to say I… uh love you."

"I love you too." I say unsurely as she looks over my shoulder.

"Why do you keep looking over my shoulder?"

"Because I uh, I have to go see you at home love you bye."

"Um Carly wait… I don't… wait Carly." I turn around to stop Carly but she was already gone, driving away in her little blue car leaving me and Freddie standing there. What!

"Are you serious?" I smile and walk over to my BDU clad boyfriend.

"Hey"

"Oh my god." With that I walk in to his arms. I'm not usually into the whole cliché run into your loves arms and let him pick you up while you squeal, but right now I do not care. Tears stream down my face while he lifts me up and kisses me.

"They all planned this?"

"Yea, I missed you so much"

"I missed you too." I lay my head into his shoulder and just let him hold me.

Ten years ago was horrible for my family, we lost fathers and husbands and best friends but we didn't give up, we let our life go on, but never forgot. We moved past our problems and fears and hopefully made our dad's proud. We grew up and followed in our brave parents footsteps. I miss him, just like Freddie misses his dad and Carly wishes hers came home more often, but we don't let our grief stop us from living our lives, **we remember.**

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><p><strong>So yeah here it is, sorry if you cried I know I did<strong>

**but I hope you did like it.**

**never forget.**


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